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[personal profile] ben_garou
There is a lot I will not share here, because I want to be positive. Suffice it to say that I have been betrayed by someone close to me. I will forgive them, because I must. But trust will not come so easily, nor do I really want it to. My dreams were... stolen from me. My Master (note: Nick clearly does not like it when I call him Master) called it being Mindraped. I certainly felt wronged, cheated, and manipulated but I do not know if I would call it that. I don't feel... violated so much as denied my Will. As a Mage, you must understand that having control of your Will is important. It is significant. It is everything. My Ma... Nick, helped me get over the initial reaction, which was far less controlled than this one and I asked him to do something to prevent me from being so denied again. What Carter did to me was much worse and this reminded me that I needed to protect my Mind and Spirit. So I went to Nick's cabin for a few days. To better understand the Garou and what they can do, I asked him to teach me about the Spirit sphere.

We did just that and it was actually exhilarating! I hadn't touched the Spirit since my Awakening and this reminded me where it all began, with Val in the Umbra. Nick (so weird calling him that) is ridiculously powerful. He was able to thin the walls between the Realm and the Umbra. I touched that resonance once more that was the catalyst of my becoming. He thickened the Gauntlet in his sanctum again and kept going until I couldn't feel the touch of the Spirit any more. We went back and forth with this for some time. Eventually I realized that Spirit felt more like electricity than any of the other Spheres. It was like static building as I experienced it. I often felt that if I touched something, I would discharge a spark. This led me to an idea for a device. So I built a meter made from copper wiring and magnets. Basically a kind of flux wand. I can feel the charge, pull, and vibrations of Spirit through it.

Then I got home. Been busy. I've had a break through in multi-resonance Magick when I had an experience with Forces as they relate to Life. Forces and Life are interesting Spheres where they intersect. Life moves. It contracts and expands. It is constantly creating and destroying. This illusion of stable consistency is just that. Those two are the easiest to understand the direct interaction of. I'm curious where Forces and Spirit come together at a fundamental level. There has to be a way to test that... quite an experience it would be.


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December 2016

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